This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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