And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize