i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
