I think my vagina is haunted
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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