is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
