i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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