Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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