while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
