Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize