Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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