Already got asked if we're dating
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
