whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
