We're like a lot better than the average bears
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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