I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Life is so much better after having sex.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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