Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
