Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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