I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
