Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
