I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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