she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
