I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
