Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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