Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pants are for mortals
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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