Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
