"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize