HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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