You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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