I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
