Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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