he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
