i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
