i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
