He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
