I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
