I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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