She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize