im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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