he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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