your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
someone owes me an orgasm
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
