My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
