I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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