grandma shit on top of the toilet
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
