I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
