tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just threw up on my dentist
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
