I look better un-naked...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
