my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
