Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
