So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
