Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
