I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize