i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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