I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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