it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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