Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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